May 2012
16 posts
I've got blood in my eyes for you.
everybody says that this city makes you hard, that no one loves you here.
But no matter how uncaring or blind or wrapped in my own shit I get, I can’t get used to seeing a man settle down in the dark corner by the can collection station next to my apartment, nestling himself away from the streetlights, hoping for a few hours of sleep.
“I can’t go on, you must go on,...
lately
I am closing in on the end of my first week in the east village.
random thoughts on today:
saw a staged reading that featured a female character named Olivia, who goes by Liv or Olive. It was a good play, I like it when my name is used for good. It put me in the best of moods.
Russian tea rules.
Rhinestones are frustrating, yet oddly rewarding to attach.
I saw a man singing in the subway...
Open Letter:
To the Australian man a block from my new apartment who popped out of nowhere and asked, “excuse me, are you Emily?”:
Sorry I stared at you, said “what”, and ran away from you before you could answer.
Sincerely,
This girl.
Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett
Estragon: I can't go on like this.
Vladimir: That's what you think.
That one time the gods really did offer me...
…to not be axe murdered in suburban New Jersey.
so, this is the last day I am commuting to and from NJ.
…naturally, its the day that I take the wrong bus home and nearly end up stranded in a “transit center”, which in this case is a euphemism for “scary parking lot with no streetlights 20 miles away from where I am supposed to be”.
Knowing the bus route...
“It’s not always easy to distinguish between existentialism and a bad mood.”
– Matthew Stover, Blade of Tyshalle
Story of my life.
On North Carolina and diverting the blame.
I’ve seen a lot of outrage on social networking sites about the North Carolina amendment that bans gay marriage for good. Not just gay marriage—it actually bans any civil benefits to an unmarried couple. (an example i found particularly chilling: Now it ain’t domestic abuse if the situation is not domestic according to legal standards. That is to say, if you’re not...
“I have nothing now but praise for my life. I’m not unhappy. I cry a lot because...”
– Maurice Sendak on Fresh Air in 2011.
What an insightful, whimsical, intellectual man.
I am lonely in this city. Too much time left to myself.
A cricket in Times Square
Today and yesterday I started to dip my feet into Manhattan.
I am pretty exhausted, in the past 24 hours, i have spent 15 working in the city, and the other 9 eating and sleeping in Montville with the Glicks. Seriously in love with these people. Loud, opinionated, intelligent…not too terribly removed from my family, but a fun dynamic nonetheless. The Glicks are the family hybrid of The...
“I feel too much. That’s what’s going on. Do you think one can feel too much? Or...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (via heavyheartbeats)
these nightmares
I think what’s scary about these nightmares is not how much it seems I built this up in my head, but how sometimes love hurts, even when someone doesn’t die.
Sometimes, its just a lack of mutual caring, and that’s not a crime. There is nothing outrageous about it, nothing to scream or howl about, really. It’s understandable.
So why am I howling so much in these...
Let the lovers be
(excerpts from my journal today):
I saw a lot of lovers or would be lovers today. or maybe its just my sentimental heart that likes to pretend it doesn’t exist until it does and it is. Stupid thing.
[[MORE]]
she thinks she is being polite
with her Southern sensibilities
Leaning on the pole somewhat unsteadily,
While I sit here with a seat on either side… Comfortable,...
April 2012
22 posts
Travels with Anton
day one was a more or less successful trek, with the ever-present realization that there just ain’t always a lot to do in the life of a production assistant. Good thing it’s only a 30 hour/week gig right now, that leaves lots of time for ADVENTURE, which I had a little bit of yesterday.
A Mark a Yen a Buck or a Pound…
commuting these first three weeks is rather pricey. That...
Something to look forward to
So, the first three weeks of my adventure, I will be staying with the incredibly wonderful Glick family. Jenna, (my twin in most ways) generously offered her house for the first 18 days, and so here I am. Suburban New Jersey, wonderful puppy, loving surrogate momma and the most terrifying commute ahead of me.
Keep in mind—I am a small town girl who found the Bursley-Baits bus at the...
the art of saying goodbye, the science of packing...
organizing thoughts and items for the next couple of days in anticipation of this great big ole’ adventure.
Reducing my baggage
I want to worry about getting to know the city, rather than carting enormous duffel bags of shit around like some really poor analogy for inner turmoil.
This is somewhat in conflict with the novels, plays and other books I have stacked hip-high (not...
in other news
I have (successfully) completed my junior year of college.
Megan Amram: Ayn Randers →
THIS KILLED ME DEAD:
meganamram:
Dear Ayn,
I’m dating a man who I think I love, but I’m afraid he’s having an affair. He comes home late, he acts suspiciously, and he even has red lipstick on his collar. Should I confront him or just hope for the best?
- County Af-fair
Dear County,
Red lipstick? Your husband is a…
we aint that innocent.
A night of thinking and talking and walking and trying to do everything but be sad, for Chrissake.
There is this wonderful song by Eef Barzelay called “I love the unknown” and I’ve always loved it—to the bafflement of most people who know me. I push on into change, into the unknown and my anxious spirit drags along trying hard to breathe normally, behave properly.
The...
The Summer Where Something Happens
It’s high time I dust off the old tumblr and start using it as God intended; a blog. Say goodbye to constantly reblogging pictures of cats and Carl Sagan quotes, because this summer…my life might actually be of note.
This is also, admittedly, a way of staving off the all-too-present anxiety that has been creeping up into my life. The more I reason through all of these crazy changes,...
March 2012
15 posts
Watchthe-absolute-funniest-posts:
zombiejig:
okay favorite video ever, nothing will beat this.
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
“XVII
No one’s fated or doomed to love anyone.
The accidents happen, we’re not...”
– Twenty-One Love Poems by Adrienne Rich (via fuckyeahexistentialism)
